Thursday, November 6, 2008

Noontime Book Chat - Off Season

We are back again with a noontime book chat!


What is the schedule?
Monday at J. Kaye's Book Blog
Tuesday at A Blog of Books
Wednesday at Literarily
Thursday at A Blog of Books
Friday is the wrap up and will be at Literarily, A Blog of Books, and J. Kaye's Book Blog.

Today I thought I would focus a little on love in this book. I read a lot of romance novels and wouldn't consider this one of those - but love is something we see a quite a bit of in almost any type of book - paranormal, mystery, thriller, historical etc.

The main character Lilly seems to be the type that is always hit by "Love at first sight". She sees someone and immediately wants them in her life. She kinda drops everything to be with that person.

Which brings me to a couple separate thoughts. One - have you ever been a victim of love at first sight? How did it work out for you?

Personally for me I think my personality requires me to get to know someone before I can love them. I might think someone is attractive at first sight. And I have been drawn in by someones personality to the point it may have felt like it was immediate love - but I think that it was somewhat one-sided and that that to me isn't love. It may be obsession or desire but not love. Does that mean that I don't think that it exists? No I believe there are some people who have seen someone and known they were for them from the beginning. But I believe it is rare and for that love to truly grow you have to "feed" it daily with little things.

Do you think that Lilly dropped everything like I did when she found Jon and Cam? She left her friends behind and concentrated on them. Left her family behind etc. Have you ever been so consumed by someone or something that you abandoned everything else? Did you realize you were doing it?

I would love to hear what you think and you can tell that for me some of this is not necessarily something you have to read the book to know about!

5 comments:

Shana said...

Nicki - GREAT questions!

I've experienced *lust* at first sight, but not LOVE. Like you, it definitely takes getting to know someone before I can love them.

It REALLY bothered me how Lilly abandoned her friends for Jon. Granted, she was young and immature, but when I see adults doing this, well, it really makes me sad.

I'll speak from the perspective of a woman here. I think no matter how deeply and magnificently a woman loves a man, she still needs her girlfriends. And I think it is unfair to expect your partner to provide what you should be getting from friends. I guess I think it's unreasonable to think one person can be EVERYTHING to you. And if one person trys to be it, burn out, disappointment, bitterness, etc. could result.

Does that make sense?

I can't wait to hear J. Kaye's thoughts on this. Somehow I suspect she'll disagree w/ me on that last part. It's just a feeling I have!

Shana
Literarily

Book Maniac said...

I totally agree with you in that one person can be your best friend and your lover but you still need someone else to talk to and interact with.

Just having the perspective of someone outside that relationship is important. Not to mention the camaraderie of a group of women (or two) has a totally different feeling and dynamic.

J. Kaye Oldner said...

I had to laugh at Shana's first statement. That's about all I experienced as well. I love Nikki's point about love being all consuming. I'm like that about everything though. I'm the obsessive type, so I am consumed easily. A lovemate is no different. Then, like Shana said, reality sets in or maybe the obsession decreases and I'm not so consumed.

I was very much like Lily. I'd totally forget everyone around me. As I got a little older, about 11 or 12, there was a parting of girlfriends. I also had trouble relating to them. I started hanging out with guys. There were about seven of us and I was the only female. Those were the best years of my life. With the exception of once a month, I thought more like them, acted more like them, and enjoyed their company more than I did girls. I felt that way until I became a mother.

Do you know I had trouble finding a bridesmaid the first time I married? (lol) All my best friends were guys. We all teased that I was going to make them dress in drag.

Questions: How did the mother letting Lily see the breast play help her? I didn't get that. Also, who is Holly (Is that her name?) It was the girl with the tiara that gave Lily the finger wave, shortly after her mother had passed. Was Lily seeing dead people?

Book Maniac said...

I really don't know what Lilly's mother was doing with showing her neighbor her breasts. I know she explains it later - but for me that just didn't make sense.

J. Kaye Oldner said...

Nikki ~ I know! When mother admitted she thought Lily had seen it and that explanation, I'm like what? (lol) That was just flat out strange.